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Irrational Fear

"Benjamin, slow down!"

"Honey, use your brakes!"

"Ben, stop...STOP...STOP!!"

"Wait for Mommy!"

"Slow DOWN!"

Poor Benjamin. This is all he heard during his last bike ride on our camping trip last month. Following behind him on foot through the campground, I was a nervous wreck trying to keep up with him. There were some pretty good hills around the loop and I was terrified that he would get going too fast and either 1) totally eat it and die or 2) get hit by an oncoming car and die.Yes, I actually was worried that he would die.

It hit me during that bike ride just how paranoid I was. What should have been an enjoyable stroll with my family was fraught with fear...my fear. My heart was literally racing and my palms would start sweating when Ben approached a hill or picked up speed. I kept envisioning him flying over the handlbars and landing on the pavement, unable to move. When he would round a curve, I would hold my breath, picturing a car hitting him head on, leaving my baby lifeless on the road. By the time the bike ride was over, I was in need of a Valium...or a stiff drink.

I don't know why I am this way. I know that my fears are not rational. Children ride their bikes all the time without getting hurt, and even when they do fall, rarely does it do permanent damage. I absolutely do not want to be that parent who never lets her children do anything because she is afraid of what might happen. I know perfectly well that Benjamin must be allowed to make mistakes, fall down, and get hurt in order for him to learn, but it is so incredibly hard to put that into action. I also know that if I keep up this paranoia, it will soon seep into him, creating a fearful, anxious little boy who is afraid to try anything new.

So I must get these irrational fears out of my head, but I don't know how. Any suggestions?

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