My last post was, um...shall we say a bit...depressing? The truth is, I was not in a good place when I wrote that and I hadn't been in quite awhile. After publishing that entry, I stared at it on my computer screen and finally recognized it for what it was...a cry for help.
So that same night I emailed some of my closest friends and laid it all out there. Here is a brief excerpt from that email:
"I need a friend. I am desperately lonely, so I am reaching out to you ladies. I know that everyone is busy. We all have children, husbands, and homes that need tending, but personally, in my efforts to take care of those precious things, I am losing myself. So I am putting friendship on the priority list and humbly asking you to be my friend...We all need a little help sometimes. I'm finally putting aside my pride and asking for it. I hope to hear from you soon."
Then I waited. For some reason I was so nervous about what the responses would be! I think that everyone works so hard to have it all together (or at least appear to) that to actually admit anything different is shocking. I could just hear the responses now:
What? You mean you can't keep the house spotless, your children perfectly behaved, and a gourmet dinner on the table each night by five o'clock? Well, I do all of that and I run five miles three times a week, volunteer at the local soup kitchen every Wednesday, and my husband and I have a romantic date every Friday night while the children attend their private piano lessons. Did I mention that we also attend church every Sunday morning in perfectly pressed, coordinating outfits?
Okay, so I wasn't actually expecting anyone to say that, but I guess deep down I do wonder if anyone else struggles like I do and if anyone would be brave enough to admit it. I needn't have worried. Every email recipient responded back and last week was filled with coffee dates, play dates, and running dates. A few excerpts from the responses I received:
"I will be thinking and praying for you."
"I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time and want you to know I am here for you, whatever you need."
"I think it is so awesome that you would be so honest, open and transparent about something like this. I think we all feel like this a lot (at least I do). I would LOVE to hang out more...We all need reminded sometimes of what it means to be a true friend."
"I can honestly say that I know what it feels like to be lonely. It sucks, honestly. I'd like to try to be there for you, so let's plan a time to hang out."
"Know that I'll be praying about this and we'll see what we can do to help remedy it. Motherhood is, by far, the most difficult thing we have ever done and I'm always saying that I don't know why women aren't more supportive of each other through it!"
Through these emails, as well as time spent together, I realized that I was not alone in my feelings of inadequacy and loneliness, and most of all, I realized that I was loved, which is maybe what I needed to know most of all.
So that same night I emailed some of my closest friends and laid it all out there. Here is a brief excerpt from that email:
"I need a friend. I am desperately lonely, so I am reaching out to you ladies. I know that everyone is busy. We all have children, husbands, and homes that need tending, but personally, in my efforts to take care of those precious things, I am losing myself. So I am putting friendship on the priority list and humbly asking you to be my friend...We all need a little help sometimes. I'm finally putting aside my pride and asking for it. I hope to hear from you soon."
Then I waited. For some reason I was so nervous about what the responses would be! I think that everyone works so hard to have it all together (or at least appear to) that to actually admit anything different is shocking. I could just hear the responses now:
What? You mean you can't keep the house spotless, your children perfectly behaved, and a gourmet dinner on the table each night by five o'clock? Well, I do all of that and I run five miles three times a week, volunteer at the local soup kitchen every Wednesday, and my husband and I have a romantic date every Friday night while the children attend their private piano lessons. Did I mention that we also attend church every Sunday morning in perfectly pressed, coordinating outfits?
Okay, so I wasn't actually expecting anyone to say that, but I guess deep down I do wonder if anyone else struggles like I do and if anyone would be brave enough to admit it. I needn't have worried. Every email recipient responded back and last week was filled with coffee dates, play dates, and running dates. A few excerpts from the responses I received:
"I will be thinking and praying for you."
"I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time and want you to know I am here for you, whatever you need."
"I think it is so awesome that you would be so honest, open and transparent about something like this. I think we all feel like this a lot (at least I do). I would LOVE to hang out more...We all need reminded sometimes of what it means to be a true friend."
"I can honestly say that I know what it feels like to be lonely. It sucks, honestly. I'd like to try to be there for you, so let's plan a time to hang out."
"Know that I'll be praying about this and we'll see what we can do to help remedy it. Motherhood is, by far, the most difficult thing we have ever done and I'm always saying that I don't know why women aren't more supportive of each other through it!"
Through these emails, as well as time spent together, I realized that I was not alone in my feelings of inadequacy and loneliness, and most of all, I realized that I was loved, which is maybe what I needed to know most of all.
Al, I love that you wrote that email. I love that although 4ish hours apart, we are going through similar things. You have a friend in me, even though it's not over coffee. I'll too, be praying for this crazy mother of a 3 year old and lil munch season! Hang in there. Be you, and no one else. No one else has a spotless home, perfect children, gourmet meals, and if they do, they are only keeping up with their own insane expectations. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling loved, less lonesly, and reminded that you are wonderful because you are YOU!! xo