I am just filled with great ideas lately. Just read my last post regaling you with the tale of our family photo shoot and you will know what I mean. This latest idea rates right up there with that one. Except instead of ending up with some great pictures to show for all of our hard work, all we got were blistered feet and poop-covered children. Yes, you read that correctly. Let me explain.
Back in December, we Hasch's decided that instead of exchanging Christmas gifts with each other, we would pick a day in early 2011 to do something together as a family. By we, I mean me. But in my defense, Laura readily agreed with me and everyone else chimed in with the typical "Whatever" response. So after the excitement of Christmas, New Years, Peggy's birthday, and Brayden's arrival died down, it was time to plan our Christmas outing. Somebody came up with the idea of hiking at the Pinnacles. By somebody, I mean me. But, again, in my defense, both my mother and sister-in-law jumped at the suggestion and the men, well, they didn't say "No," so I took that to mean they loved the idea as well.
I feel the need to explain why I thought driving two hours to a dormant volcano to hike around with a newborn baby, a two year old, a three year old, and some out of shape adults (no, I will not name names) was such a good idea. For starters, Nathan is always saying that he wishes we would do more outdoor activities, namely hiking and biking. I thought this would be a great way to get in some exercise, since I happen to be one of those aforementioned adults. Also, this would give the younger boys plenty of space to run around and simply be boys. The entire Hasch family enjoys camping and visiting new places in the great outdoors, so I thought Ray, Nate, and Travis would especially appreciate the day trip better than, say, going to Disneyland or something. Last, but certainly not least, hiking at the monument is free, which Disneyland definitely is not. So you see, it was a win-win for everyone. At least, it penciled out that way on paper.
So last Saturday was the day. We first met at Mom & Dad's to pack lunches and load the cars and by 8:30 we were on the road. The first minor hiccup occurred when it became apparent that nobody actually knew how to get to the Pinnacles, but that was quickly corrected thanks to smart phones and GPS. We arrived without incident and began the long, arduous task of unloading the cars and prepping for the actual hike. This included using the restrooms, applying sunscreen, filling up backpacks, and then cajoling/bribing/threatening the younger children to do all these things as well. When we were finally ready to commence hiking, everyone looked at me to direct them to the trail head, of which I had no idea where it was. After looking at the map, it appeared that we were on the wrong side of the monument to take said trail. Oops. I quickly referred to my trusty Google printout to pick out a second option that we could actually access from our current position and after fielding some inquiries about whether we could handle a 4-5 hour hike (of course we could!), we were on our way.
The first two minutes were glorious. Everyone was happy as we walked in the sunshine down the path. Then Benjamin claimed he was done hiking and wanted to go home. He literally stopped on the trail and refused to move. It all went downhill from there.
The next two hours can only be described as a sweaty, frustrating, exhausting disaster. Benjamin was uncooperative and I had to alternate between bribing him with crackers (think dangling a carrot in front of the horse) and threatening to spank his behind just to get him to move forward. We finally made him get in the toddler backpack just so we could make progress up the hill. Oh yeah, did I mention that the first two miles were completely uphill?
Back in December, we Hasch's decided that instead of exchanging Christmas gifts with each other, we would pick a day in early 2011 to do something together as a family. By we, I mean me. But in my defense, Laura readily agreed with me and everyone else chimed in with the typical "Whatever" response. So after the excitement of Christmas, New Years, Peggy's birthday, and Brayden's arrival died down, it was time to plan our Christmas outing. Somebody came up with the idea of hiking at the Pinnacles. By somebody, I mean me. But, again, in my defense, both my mother and sister-in-law jumped at the suggestion and the men, well, they didn't say "No," so I took that to mean they loved the idea as well.
I feel the need to explain why I thought driving two hours to a dormant volcano to hike around with a newborn baby, a two year old, a three year old, and some out of shape adults (no, I will not name names) was such a good idea. For starters, Nathan is always saying that he wishes we would do more outdoor activities, namely hiking and biking. I thought this would be a great way to get in some exercise, since I happen to be one of those aforementioned adults. Also, this would give the younger boys plenty of space to run around and simply be boys. The entire Hasch family enjoys camping and visiting new places in the great outdoors, so I thought Ray, Nate, and Travis would especially appreciate the day trip better than, say, going to Disneyland or something. Last, but certainly not least, hiking at the monument is free, which Disneyland definitely is not. So you see, it was a win-win for everyone. At least, it penciled out that way on paper.
So last Saturday was the day. We first met at Mom & Dad's to pack lunches and load the cars and by 8:30 we were on the road. The first minor hiccup occurred when it became apparent that nobody actually knew how to get to the Pinnacles, but that was quickly corrected thanks to smart phones and GPS. We arrived without incident and began the long, arduous task of unloading the cars and prepping for the actual hike. This included using the restrooms, applying sunscreen, filling up backpacks, and then cajoling/bribing/threatening the younger children to do all these things as well. When we were finally ready to commence hiking, everyone looked at me to direct them to the trail head, of which I had no idea where it was. After looking at the map, it appeared that we were on the wrong side of the monument to take said trail. Oops. I quickly referred to my trusty Google printout to pick out a second option that we could actually access from our current position and after fielding some inquiries about whether we could handle a 4-5 hour hike (of course we could!), we were on our way.
The first two minutes were glorious. Everyone was happy as we walked in the sunshine down the path. Then Benjamin claimed he was done hiking and wanted to go home. He literally stopped on the trail and refused to move. It all went downhill from there.
The next two hours can only be described as a sweaty, frustrating, exhausting disaster. Benjamin was uncooperative and I had to alternate between bribing him with crackers (think dangling a carrot in front of the horse) and threatening to spank his behind just to get him to move forward. We finally made him get in the toddler backpack just so we could make progress up the hill. Oh yeah, did I mention that the first two miles were completely uphill?
What a great husband...carrying both kids and all the water! Can't you tell that he was just having a fabulous time?
We did this a lot...took breaks, that is.
Getting closer to the top...
We were really high up...see the parking lot way down there?? And that wasn't even the top yet!
Bringing up the rear, making sure no one got left behind. Such good grandparents. :)
We made it to the top! Just four more hours to go...
So after reaching the top, we broke for lunch. We found a nice little nook to chow down on sandwiches, chips, and fruit and rest before starting on the next leg of the journey. As we were loading up to start down the trail, Benjamin mentioned that his tummy hurt. This did not bode well for us, but what else could we do but put him in the backpack and continue on our way? So off we went, with Nathan praying that Benjamin didn't puke on the back of his head. I kindly offered to take Brayden, all 11 pounds of him, for the rest of the way.
(The rest of the story involves the poop-covered children part, so if you are squeamish about that sort of thing, you might want to stop reading.)
The next hour was peaceful. The three youngest boys were quietly riding along in their chariots (aka Nathan, Ray, and myself) and the rest of us were enjoying the downhill slope in the cool shade. When we hit flat ground, Weston and Ben decided they were rested enough to get down and walk. Needless to say, the dads were very grateful to be relieved of the extra weight. A few minutes later Benjamin announced that he had to go to the bathroom. Now peeing in the outdoors is easy, especially for boys. Pooping, however, is a whole 'nother story. And it was at this point of the hike that I did something I never thought I'd do...I allowed my child to use me as a toilet. Yep, I squatted down while Benjamin sat on my lap, facing me, bottom in the wind, to do his business. Nathan warned me just in time to beware the inevitable stream that most definitely would occur simultaneously, for which I will always be grateful to him. After enduring the stares and laughter from my in-laws, Benjamin finally finished up and it was time to move on. After seeing what Benjamin left behind (no pun intended) it became very apparent why his tummy hurt earlier. With that problem solved, he suddenly regained his energy and good mood and took off down the trail with his cousins.
Finally, we reached the spot the younger boys had been waiting for...the cave. Out came the headlamps and jackets and in we went. Benjamin did an amazing job. He navigated the rocks and the trail in the dark like he'd been doing it all his life and was disappointed when we came out the other side. I, however, breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the light of day again. It was a bit nerve racking to climb through dark, narrow passage ways with a four week old baby on the front of me. However, with Travis in front of me, offering his hand when needed, and Nathan behind me, I knew Brayden and I were safe. Travis was also helping Benjamin get through, which calmed my nerves. We got through without incident and managed to cajole the younger boys to walk the last hour of the trail by promising them cookies when we got to the car. Note to self: always have cookies waiting in the car when we go on a hike. It was great incentive to keep Ben moving.
So six hours after we started walking, we made it back to the cars. We broke out the cookies and cold drinks and unloaded all the gear off our backs. Brayden had soaked through his outfit for the second time that day, so I went to work getting him into the last set of clothes I had brought for him, mentally patting myself on the back for thinking to bring extras. I passed him off, all clean and dry, to Peggy and helped myself to a cookie. Just as I started to relax, Brayden decided it was a good time to poop, and poop he did. It went up his back, down his legs, and on Grandma too. I carried him an arms length away to the back of the car to get him cleaned up and contemplated how to get his onesie off without getting the poop all over him and myself in the process. The only way, I realized, was to literally rip it off. There was no salvaging it anyway, with the amount of poo that was on it and no Spray 'n' Wash on hand. So I ripped it off of him, threw it away, and then realized that Brayden had now gone through all the clothes I had brought for him. So much for my mad preparation skills. I found the first outfit he had worn that day (and the first outfit he peed through) at the bottom of the backpack and determined that it was dry enough for him to wear home. I went through the rest of the wipes getting the poor little guy all cleaned up and once again handed him off back to Grandma. Here is where the story gets good. I am not kidding, mere seconds after doing so, Nathan brought over Benjamin and announced that our other son had also just pooped his pants.
"Are you kidding me??" I exclaimed. Apparently my reaction was quite funny because everyone laughed, but I failed to see the humor at that point. I marched over to Benjamin to inspect the damage and when I saw what was waiting for me in his underwear, I looked up at the heavens and cried out loud, "Seriously?" It was at that precise moment Benjamin said, in a perfect impersonation of me, "Oh crap!" The icing on the cake right there.
I couldn't help myself...I had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation and so did everyone else. Ray was crying he was laughing so hard, which only made me laugh more. When I announced that I had just used the last of the wipes on Brayden, it only served to make the situation funnier. It was the perfect end to the day and I wondered out loud if this was my payback for making us all do this. As Laura pointed out earlier, this day filled with sweat, tears, tantrums, scrapes, sore muscles, and poop was sooo much better than exchanging presents. Merry Christmas indeed.
Love this family.
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