"Up." "Pizza." "Mama." "Dada."
These are the four words that my 1 year, 17 months, and 9 days old son knows. And the last three he only says when we prompt him. Being the fanatical reader that I am, as well as having a degree in Child Development, I know that he should be saying at least six words by now, if not more. In fact, most children begin speaking around 12 months. I also know that babies develop at their own pace and there is quite a range when it comes to developmental milestones, especially in regards to walking and talking. However, when babies all around me are speaking a dozen words or more, it is hard not to look at Benjamin and wonder, sometimes outloud, "Why aren't you talking yet?"
At his 12 month check-up Dr. Patterson said not to worry. Babies develop at their own pace, blah-blah-blah. All things I knew and at that time I wasn't concerned. But when his fifteen month checkup rolled around I again voiced my concerns to our favorite doctor who asked me a series of questions. "Does he respond to his name?" (Yes). "Does he point to objects?" (Yes). "Does he sign?" (Yes, a lot actually.) "Does he babble?" (Yes, all the time). As I answered "Yes" to all his questions, my anxiety started to fade. Dr. Patterson reassured me that Benjamin was right on track and although he may not be at the top of his class when it came to the speaking department, he would eventually catch up. Then my worries were replaced with pride when he pointed out that Benjamin was one of the most social babies he'd seen. His exact words were "Do you know how many 15 month olds actually sit on my lap to let me examine them without crying? About 10%." I was so proud I almost forgot about my earlier concerns.
But now his eighteen month appointment is just a few weeks away. And he still isn't talking. And I am definitely worried. I am also frustrated because Benjamin has taken to whining while pointing at the objects he wants. I (like all parents) hate whining. It is especially annoying because many times I really don't understand what Benjamin wants when he does it. So not only am I frustrated, but so is he because he can't communicate effectively. So then his frustration manifests itself into a tantrum, which is hard on the both of us. (See my earlier post for more on that fun subject.)
But here is the kicker-what it really comes down to is my own selfish desires. I desperately want my son to call me "Mommy." I have been waiting so long to have that title (seriously, since I was like 7 years old). I have spent many years of my life babysitting and teaching other children and I couldn't wait to have one that I could call my own, who in return, would call me his own by way of "Mommy." Yes, he says "Mama" when we tell him to and occasionally on his own, but "Mama" is also his word for Grandma and any person he sees in a photograph (including a picture of Jesus he saw at church one day-yes, he said it outloud during the service while pointing at the screen. I was mortified.)
There is a little solace knowing that I am not the only one who wants a special title. Nathan has been working for months on getting Benjamin to say "Dada." I mistakingly showed Ben the sign for that word and now everytime Nathan prompts him to say it, he does the sign instead. Sigh. But we are getting there. He has said "Dada" a few times now (when prompted), and a couple times he has said "Mama" while reaching for me. I guess what I am really waiting for is his next checkup when Dr. Patterson will once again reassure me that Benjamin is the most perfect baby in the world. Because talking or not, he really is.
These are the four words that my 1 year, 17 months, and 9 days old son knows. And the last three he only says when we prompt him. Being the fanatical reader that I am, as well as having a degree in Child Development, I know that he should be saying at least six words by now, if not more. In fact, most children begin speaking around 12 months. I also know that babies develop at their own pace and there is quite a range when it comes to developmental milestones, especially in regards to walking and talking. However, when babies all around me are speaking a dozen words or more, it is hard not to look at Benjamin and wonder, sometimes outloud, "Why aren't you talking yet?"
At his 12 month check-up Dr. Patterson said not to worry. Babies develop at their own pace, blah-blah-blah. All things I knew and at that time I wasn't concerned. But when his fifteen month checkup rolled around I again voiced my concerns to our favorite doctor who asked me a series of questions. "Does he respond to his name?" (Yes). "Does he point to objects?" (Yes). "Does he sign?" (Yes, a lot actually.) "Does he babble?" (Yes, all the time). As I answered "Yes" to all his questions, my anxiety started to fade. Dr. Patterson reassured me that Benjamin was right on track and although he may not be at the top of his class when it came to the speaking department, he would eventually catch up. Then my worries were replaced with pride when he pointed out that Benjamin was one of the most social babies he'd seen. His exact words were "Do you know how many 15 month olds actually sit on my lap to let me examine them without crying? About 10%." I was so proud I almost forgot about my earlier concerns.
But now his eighteen month appointment is just a few weeks away. And he still isn't talking. And I am definitely worried. I am also frustrated because Benjamin has taken to whining while pointing at the objects he wants. I (like all parents) hate whining. It is especially annoying because many times I really don't understand what Benjamin wants when he does it. So not only am I frustrated, but so is he because he can't communicate effectively. So then his frustration manifests itself into a tantrum, which is hard on the both of us. (See my earlier post for more on that fun subject.)
But here is the kicker-what it really comes down to is my own selfish desires. I desperately want my son to call me "Mommy." I have been waiting so long to have that title (seriously, since I was like 7 years old). I have spent many years of my life babysitting and teaching other children and I couldn't wait to have one that I could call my own, who in return, would call me his own by way of "Mommy." Yes, he says "Mama" when we tell him to and occasionally on his own, but "Mama" is also his word for Grandma and any person he sees in a photograph (including a picture of Jesus he saw at church one day-yes, he said it outloud during the service while pointing at the screen. I was mortified.)
There is a little solace knowing that I am not the only one who wants a special title. Nathan has been working for months on getting Benjamin to say "Dada." I mistakingly showed Ben the sign for that word and now everytime Nathan prompts him to say it, he does the sign instead. Sigh. But we are getting there. He has said "Dada" a few times now (when prompted), and a couple times he has said "Mama" while reaching for me. I guess what I am really waiting for is his next checkup when Dr. Patterson will once again reassure me that Benjamin is the most perfect baby in the world. Because talking or not, he really is.
It's so hard not to compare, especially with your first because you are so excited for them to reach those milestones. I know, because I did it too. Patrick didn't walk until he was 17 months. It drove me crazy seeing babies half his age that were on the verge of walking when he showed no interest. As far as the speech thing goes, Patrick didn't say much until 19 months when he all of a sudden started talking a lot.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I remember the constant pointing at things while whining "eh, eh eh" It is VERY frustrating, I agree. He sounds like he is doing almost the exact same things Liam did at that age. He'll get there don't worry. Oh yeah, and I STILL don't get to be mommy! I never even got mama. I have always just been "mom" lol
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