A Journey to Love

I taught Benjamin how to dial 911 in case there is ever an emergency in our home. He is so proud of himself for knowing how to do it, as am I. Let's just hope he never has to actually use these new skills...

Here's a little clip of some of the baby signs Brayden can do (and also just some of his general cuteness :)...

March and April have been busy in our household. Benjamin started preschool two days a week, which he absolutely loves. It's so fun to listen to his stories about his days away from me, even though his stock answer when we ask him what he did that day is "I don't know!" After a little coaxing, we are able to get a general idea of his day's activities, such as painting (I love when he brings home artwork!), games (he taught Nathan and I how to play leap frog-I had to dissuade him from playing with baby brother.) and snack...we always hear about snack. I think it's his favorite part of school. Benjamin is still attending Awanas each Wednesday evening and I so enjoy listening to him sing "Jesus Loves Me" while eating dinner, taking a bath, playing with his toys, and even while going potty. It truly warms my heart. Nathan has been taking a welding class at Cuesta two nights a week, which he thoroughly enjoys. Even though it keeps him away from home mo...

It hit me tonight. Benjamin is growing up. There are so many things he can do on his own now and it seems that he has mastered a ton of them all in the last week. Here is just a sampling of his new found independence: He can get dressed and undressed by himself (fasteners are a little tricky still). Shoes are not a problem anymore (the Velcro ones anyway). Car doors are a piece of cake. He'll even open Brayden's door. Washing hands and face and brushing teeth come second nature to him. (Though I still like to have a turn with the teeth care. And I don't let him comb his beautiful curls himself. :) He can take his helmet on and off himself and is working on buckling his car seat himself, too. He can now reach all the light switches in the house, which leads me to... He has chores: Turning off all the lights before we leave Feeding Sadie twice a day Setting and clearing the dinner table While I love watching him learn all these new skills, it is a little bittersw...

I don't know quite what to do with myself this morning. My youngest child is napping and my oldest child is at his first day of preschool. I told Benjamin almost two months ago that I had signed him up for Little Hounds, a preschool put on by the Child Development class at the local high school, and he has been excited ever since. Every day he would ask me, "Is it March yet, Mom?" because he knew that once March arrived, he would get to start school. As soon as he got out of bed this morning, he announced that he was ready. I smiled and asked him if he might want some breakfast first. "I guess so," he replied. After finishing his bagel, getting dressed, brushing his hair and teeth (which was not accompanied by the usual tears and frustration...from either of us!) it was finally time. When we arrived, he walked right in, put his lunch box and jacket in his cubby, paused to give me a hug goodbye, and then he was off. To say that he was excited is a gross underst...

The shock has worn off a bit. I can think about other things. I can recount it without crying. Yet, if I allow myself to mentally go back just three days ago to those few minutes in the cold ocean water, I can hear my children's cries again, I can taste the salt water, I can see the tears in Laura's eyes and for a moment my heart is gripped in fear as I think about what could have been. This was the first (and hopefully the last) real dangerous situation I've ever been in. I've never sincerely had the words "I might die" cross my mind and plant themselves there. But three days ago, in the frigid Pacific ocean, while being tossed to and fro by the waves and the current, it hit me: I had absolutely no control over what was going to happen. I was at the mercy of God and the ocean and it was that thought that makes me weep. Why? Why did the thought of being completely at the mercy of God grip me with fear? Aren't I always at the mercy of God? He can choos...

As I laid my children in bed tonight, I held on to them for an extra minute in a moment of prayer, thanking God for giving me another evening to embrace them. You see, I almost lost them today. It was supposed to be a fun afternoon at the beach. Laura and I wanted to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather so we packed up the kids and headed to Avila for a little fun in the sun. The clouds and the cold wind should have been our first warning. We hit the sand anyway, not wanting to disappoint the kids. After a short stint of boogie boarding (nine year old Wyatt and his fourteen year old buddy Tim) and seashell searching (Weston (4) and Ben), the gang asked to explore the tide pools. So the group of us headed that way, Laura carrying 9 month old Walker in the front pack, Brayden on my hip, the little boys at our sides. Wyatt and Tim ran on ahead. Now at Avila, just before you get to the tide pools, it becomes necessary to cross a little inlet of water. It w...