Skip to main content

I Don't Know!

I have figured out that there are standard questions that people ask you after major events take place in your life:

After engagement: "So have you set a wedding date?"
After wedding: "So when are you going to start having babies?"
After pregnancy: "So when are you due?"
After birth of first child: "So how soon do you want to have your next child?"
After birth of second child: "So are you done or do you want more kids?"

It's like nobody lets you enjoy the moment you are in and instead they are pushing you to always think about what comes next because there is always something better around the corner. Though nothing is set in stone, I am fairly confident when I tell family, friends, and complete strangers (yep, random people in the grocery store have even asked) that Nathan and I feel complete as a family of four. Even when they question our decision ("Really? You don't want to try for a girl?") I can honestly say that I am completely satisfied with our two precious boys.

But then I hear the news of a friend's pregnancy and I waver. I see someones facebook status announcing "It's a boy!" and I waver. I pick up an adorable pair of Vans shoes the size of my thumb and I waver. I smell a newborn's baby-fine hair and I waver.

You see, I have always had a plan for my life. I would go to college, become a teacher, get married, have children, and live happily ever after (naturally). I've always been fairly confident in my decisions and plans and usually know what is coming around the corner. Married? Check. Baby #1? Check. Baby #2: Check. More kids? No. Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know! Stop asking me!!

I have no idea how to conclude this blog post, because I don't know the conclusion. Not knowing is very uncomfortable for me, and my usual M.O. is to force a decision. However, I'm going to try something new here and instead attempt to relish in the uncertainty and trust that God knows the answer and will reveal it to me when I am ready. Considering that patience and submission are not my strong suit, this particular task is going to be harder than it sounds. Here goes nothing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bad Dreams and Dog Poop

Yes, you read correctly... dog poop. I've been waiting for it to happen, and today it finally did. Benjamin and I were exploring outside this morning (it finally stopped raining so we could do that again!) and I turned my back for a minute to throw a stick for Sadie. When I turned back around, I noticed that Benjamin was intently inspecting something on the ground. Not just inspecting, but probing. WITH HIS HANDS. I bent down to take a closer look and realized that my son was playing with dog poop. Dog poop . Disgusting. I whisked him up and into the house, zombie style (arms straight out in front of him) and thoroughly scrubbed his hands with my favorite "Kitchen Lemon" anti-bacterial, hopefully anti-dog poop, until his hands (and arms) smelled like a citrus grove. As he sits next to me while I write this, eating a granoloa bar, I have to reassure myself that the anti-bacterial soap did it's job (as did the hot water and vigorous scrubbing for a full sixty seconds...
3 comments
Read more

Benjamin's Second Christmas

Christmas was a little different this year from last. Last year was exciting because it was Benjamin's first Christmas . Even though he was only four months old and had no idea what was going on, it was a big deal to us (okay, to me). I made Nathan take a picture of Benjamin and I standing next to his first Christmas tree, we (I) picked out special Christmas pajamas for him, we each bought him special gifts and even wrapped them, knowing full well we would also be the ones un wrapping them. We stuffed his stocking full, sat him on Santa's lap, took him to Winter Wonderland, and sang him Christmas carols (okay, I sang them). It was a magical holiday. This year was still exciting I guess, but in a different way.. Though he still doesn't get what is happening, he does understand the word toy . And I think after yesterday, he understands present as well! He helped unwrap most of his gifts and it was fun seeing his face light up at a gift he particularly enjoyed (such as the ...
2 comments
Read more

Photo Crazy

Perhaps it is because I am a new mom (sort of). Perhaps it is because technology has made it so easy. Perhaps it is because I am trying to learn and practice a new hobby (yet again). Or (and I think we are getting to the real reason here) perhaps it is because I honestly believe that there is no cuter child out there than my beautiful son and I want to capture every expression, every moment, and yes, every stylish outfit I put on him, and show him off to the world. Any other mom feel the same way about their children? I'm going to venture a guess and just say yes. But still, do I really need to take 25 pictures of Benjamin raking the leaves? I mean, how exciting is it really to do yard work?  But as I stood there watching him in his adorable sweater, focusing on his task at hand, I found myself thinking "Is there anything cuter than this?" So I dashed into the house for the camera and sprinted back outside (nearly falling out the door in my haste-I'm not joking) ...
Post a Comment
Read more