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It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This

Has it really been almost a year since I've wrote on this blog? I know that I posted my farewell to the Atascadero Fire Department back in March, but the last post before that occurred all the way back to last summer...yikes! So this is how blogs just fade away... Life is busy. Between all the duties that come along with being a wife and a mom, as well as my responsibilities outside of the home, I'm just exhausted at the end of the day. And truth be told, being a mother these days has not been fun, so I really haven't wanted to write about it.  Benjamin is hard. Really hard. As in, I usually cry at least a few times a week, if not daily, from sheer frustration with him. You've heard of the term "strong willed child?" Ben could be the poster child for that book. The two of us are so much alike. We both fight for control and power and we do it poorly, in the form of threats, screams, and hands thrown up in exasperation. On one particular night, the defian
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Goodbye

He took a box to work today. When I asked what for, he said, “So I can clean out my locker.” Oh. That . The next day, we stopped by the station to visit. “Hey, Benjamin, I’ve got a job for you! Come help me clean the engine,” the engineer called to our oldest child. As Ben helped Jason hose the fire engine down, the one his daddy has driven his entire career, I snapped a picture with my phone thinking “This is the last time he will get to do this here.” “I turned in my resignation letter today,” he quietly told me later, as the boys played in the ladder truck. I looked at my husband, watching for signs of sadness, regret, hoping he didn’t see it in my own eyes. Only one of us can mourn at a time, in order to boost the other up. We are a team, so I try to keep my heartache in check until I can read my husband’s emotions. He always gets first dibs, considering that it is he that is leaving a job of fourteen years, not me. At his going-away party last weekend, I was overwhelmed wit

Christmas Card 2012

Blessed Family Religious Christmas Card Browse our collection of Christmas card designs. View the entire collection of cards.

Summer Wrap Up

I had great plans for this summer. It was going to be three months of unscheduled, relaxing bliss before diving into the business of fall. Umm, yeah...not so much. It started with a Memorial Weekend Camp out with the extended family and their extended family. We went to our local Santa Margarita Lake to celebrate cousins Wyatt, Weston, and Walker's birthday, as well as their dad, Uncle Ray's birthday. Yep, all four of their special days fall within six weeks of each other. So each night we sang happy birthday to at least one person, opened presents, and devoured sweet treats in their honor. It was tough, but we managed to get through it. :) In mid June, Benjamin was honored to be a part of my cousin Taylor's wedding to Kevin. He made such a cute ring bearer and it was just precious watching him pull the wagon his daddy made as a teenager down the aisle. The day was magical and filled with love and promise and hope. One week later, we loaded up the camper again and too

Happy 4th Birthday, Benjamin!

Dear Benjamin, Last week, you turned four years old. I can't believe it's been that long since the very first day I met you. As cliche as it might be, it truly seems like yesterday I held you for the first time and anxiously awaited your first cries, signalling to me that you were okay. (You were.) Though our first days at home are a bit blurry, I clearly remember the overwhelming love I had for you from the minute we made eye contact. Do you know that love, Benjamin? Do you see it? Do you know how often I think of you, worry about you, pray for you? One of my favorite things to do is daydream about your future and reminisce about your past. It's been a hard year, between your last birthday and this one, for you and I, so I've relied on these mental escapes, as well as never-ceasing prayer to get us through. You see, Benjamin, you've got a couple of things going against you. You are my first born, which means you are the guinea pig, so to speak. I've never

Walking in the Rain, Part 1.

It was only supposed to be a four-week bible study . To be brutally honest, I was only going because I had heard it was about getting your house and schedule organized. I figured it would be a Martha-Stewart-meets-Jesus kind of thing. Count me in! I convinced Nathan that my being gone for the next four Tuesday evenings would greatly benefit our entire household. However, it was so much more than how to keep a tidy home. The title was "From the Inside Out...lining up your head, heart, and home with God's priorities for your life." To read more about how that study impacted my world, click here . Let it suffice to say that it really made me re-think my priorities and lit a fire in me to actually make some changes in my day-to-day living...not just think about them, but actually do them. So as the four weeks came to a close, I learned that the next six weeks of Tuesday Night Bible Study would be a Beth Moore DVD series on the book of James in the Bible. I was a little

Benjamin's 1st Report Card

Two weeks ago when I picked Benjamin up from school, one of his teachers met me at the door. "I need to talk to you about Benjamin," she said. Uh-oh. Those are usually not the words you want to hear as a parent. I braced myself. "He's not bad or anything. He isn't hitting other kids or anything like that," she started out. Well, that's good, right? I relaxed a tiny bit. "It's just that, well, he's the leader of the class," she continued. Really? The leader? I'd be lying if I didn't swell with pride at that moment. My kid, the leader! So, uh, what's the problem here? Leading is good, yes? "We like that he's the leader and all, and most of the time it's great...the kids all do what he says..." (Yes! That's my boy!) "...but last week a new student came into the class and Benjamin decided he didn't like him, so now none of the other children will play with this new little boy." Oh. The